sgd88

yay!!! i havent weighed myself in a while but my fav dark jeans fit. dark jeans are my fav, cause i feel like they are slimming! havent been keeping up on here in a little bit, in the middle of packing and getting ready to move to a new apt. yay! going out for beers and pool tonight with a friend who’s in town for the weekend. guess i’m DD, which in this case is more “dieting driver” than “designated”. haha , don’t want all those beer calories. that, and its the end of the month and i’m practically broke! hope everyone is doing well. cant wait to see what you guys have been up to when i get a chance. good luck all you slimmers have a fab weekend!

momentary down swing there! sorry bout that. i think i was stressed about school, and for some reason I take it out on myself and my weight, bad habit!

you guys are great buddies, it’s really nice to have people to encourage you and hold you accountable for your choices and goals. this site feels “safe” to me and I like that. I don’t even talk to my mom about weight stuff. crazy side note: mom was anorexic for 10 years. she’s a healthy weight now, but is still FAR from normal when it comes to body image and good advice. so it doesnt really benefit me to talk to her.

didnt lose any weight last week, but didnt gain any either! and thats always a good thing

went to body pump again yesterday, not nearly as terrible as last time. I think I might get a membership there. Anybody work out at women’s gyms? thoughts?

two finals due on thursday, one due sunday. Borderline A’s in all three of those classes so I’m excited to see the outcome of my summer’s work. I’d be ok with a’s or b’s although A’s would boost my gpa for nursing school.

determined to do better this week, nutritionally and attitude-wise as well. so good luck to all of us

ps, to those of you who have pics on your profile page. how do you do that? on my homepage it says ive used over half my upload amount and ive only uploaded one pic?

did terrible this week. its finals week thru next sunday so I will be studddyyyiinngg my not-so-little butt off. not weighing in tomorrow. doesnt really help to motivate as much as it discourages. at least for me. although, i havent really tried that hard this week.

I’ve never really lost weight the proper and healthy way. It was always skipping meals here and there, juice diets, yo-yoing for prom, parties, spring break, stuff like that. I hate having to work for something that I want. IKNOW that sounds like a spoiled brat. Growing up though (and I equate this to school cause grades have always been my main focus) i never really had to TRY to get good grades. I went to school, went to class, goofed around, paid attention when i felt like it and made really good grades, in all honors and AP courses.

College comes along, and not so fast little 4.5 - you have to work for ANYTHING you want around here. cause everyone else wants it just as bad, and you’re competing now. I’m trying to get into nursing school and you can just smell the tension during testing in my pre-req classes: minds racing, brain matter frying as we’re all trying to get the answers right and literally beat each other out of the next highest spot. its stressful.

I’ve learned to work really hard at school and appreciate my mind and ablities for what they are and where they get me. I do my best and thats all I can do; and I’m definitely ok with that. So I’m not making straight A’s. It’s ok.

With weight, which definitely is my second biggest challenge after school, I’m not so balanced (obviously.) It’s like I just expect it to happen without interfereing totally with my life, when in fact, thats just what it needs to do.

i know im afraid to fail.

i dont think i would know what to do if i ever looked the way i wanted. “being fat” has been a part of my life since i was old enough to be body conscious, which for me, started at 5. I was always the tallest and usually therefore the biggest.

living in tallahassee, going to college in tallahassee. FSU is rated NUMBER FOUR in terms of colleges and their “hot girls.” in the united states. and its true. there are SO MANY hot girls in this town. i’ve always been terrible about comparing myself to others, its 10-fold in college. being surrounded by gorgeous, tan, sexy clubrats (who probably have some venerial disease and eventually skin cancer from hours in the tanning bed) but that doesnt help me in the here and now.

did you know at FSU the rate of finding a parking spot is 11%. The percentage of people who have STD’s here is 33%. Therefore: you’re more likely to contract an STD than find a parking spot. Charming.

eating is so daily. and for the overweight, I dont care what people say, its a vice. its an addiction. Other addictions you can quit. You can’t quit eating. Food is everywhere, all day, every day. You know, at least crack isn’t sold on every street corner, commercial and bright blinking billboard. Eating must be contended with 3 times a day JUST to be healthy. What other addiction requires you to come in contact with the very thing that brought you down? None of them.

can we just cut to me all moved into my new apartment, everything in its place, everything unpacked and me 10 lbs lighter and just skip everything in between?

i hate growing up. freaking high school man, those were the days.

sorry for being debbie downer. frustrated.

pizza is by farrrrrrrr my favorite food. pepperoni pizza, supreme pizza, especially Red Elephant pizza, to those of you who have never eaten at a red elephant, DON’T. I swear they lace everything with cocaine, so addicting. but delicious. Boyfriend (who is 5′10? and probably 160ish, skinny bones) eats everything in site and always wants to eat pizza for dinner. Were both college students and a large howies is 5 bucks…. so tempting. I’m headed over there soon for dinner and movie.

Battle Royale!! My self control versus hot delicious pepperonis and cheese.

Upside, I went to “Body Pump” at women’s world today with my dearest friend kristin who is also working on shedding some of those lbsssss. (downside to her is she’s 5′3, 135 at her heaviest). The class was SO HARD. I was loathing the instructor from my spot behind the 80 year old women lifting heavier weights than I. And they didnt even skip any reps!! sheesh, thats motivation right there!

all in all, good day. can’t WAIT for this semester to be over. New apt and new roomies in August!! So excited.

hello anyone, everyone? haha I don’t really know how this whole thing works. It’s my first day (obviously). Well I hope this site helps me to lose some weight. I’m a 20 year old girl, 21 in November, and have “struggled” with my weight all my life. I put struggle in quotations because I think for the first 18 years I was the girl that said “ahhhh, I’m FAT!!!”… and I don’t think I really was, especially when I look back on old pictures. I think I may have body dysmorphia. It sucks to feel that i waste so much time fixated on my weight instead of just being healthy and changing my habits. I cheered in high school and it kept me in shape, but since I entered college I gained the Freshman 15 and probably a little more. I fell into a HUGE depression my freshman year of college, dated an abusive guy, “broke up” with my roommate and best friend since 4th grade, alienated myself from everyone and everything and just wallowed in my terrible boyfriends apartment with him and watched tv all day. It was awful.

I’m officially on the other side of all that! With the help of the police, anti-depressants and renewed friendships and family ties. Everything has recovered except my weight. I don’t know how much I weigh exactly because the scale launches me into an all day funk, but I know its somewhere between 150 and 160 (probably 155 and up, not exactly sure though.)

I don’t know what my target weight would be because I’m in a new phase of my life and I don’t have (nor need) as much muscle as I had in high school. So I guess I’ll just try and make progress and see what I feel comfortable at. I’m guessing 140? 145? And I’ll decide when I get there if I want to lose or gain any weight. Thankfully, I guess I don’t have too terribly much weight to lose but it’s so frustrating and I think I’m afraid of failure.

I’m excited about this!